Once a week, the leaders of Canada’s four major political parties do all the talking during Question Period. It may be a bit undemocratic; but it’s definitely entertaining:
Mr. Speaker 3, 2, 1 … Go!
Pierre After eight years of Justin’s taxes and deficits, Canadians can’t afford to eat. A record-smashing two million people are now using food banks. Why do Liberals want Canadians to starve?
Justin I know Canadians are struggling. But this government has lifted half a million kids out of poverty.
Pierre Oh, so you’re saying Canadians have never had it so good?
Jagmeet Canadians know who’s to blame for food prices: It’s greedy grocery CEOs. So why do you let Galen get away with it?
Pierre Jagmeet, you’re Team Trudeau – remember? Plus Galen isn’t greedy – it’s you and Justin who are greedy … greedy for hardworking Canadian tax dollars.
Justin This government established $10-a-day daycare, free dental care for poor kids, bigger child benefit cheques … which program would you cut?
Pierre How about the ArriveCAN app? It didn’t work; it cost 500 times what it should have; and now it’s under criminal investigation. Why did you shove this horrible app down Canada’s throat?
Justin OK, ArriveCAN may suck. But the real reason you hate it is your hidden agenda: you’re covertly courting votes from COVID deniers. In other words: your tinfoil hat is showing.
Jagmeet Enough! Canadians are being forced to live in tents, cars … even apartment lobbies. And seniors are forced to choose between food and heat. How will you keep them safe this winter?
Justin Let me get back to you on that.
Pierre Ah! Finally something the Conservatives and the NDP can agree on: Liberals want old people to freeze to death.
Justin If you care so much about seniors, why did you raise retirement to 67? We brought it back to 65.
Pierre Fewer seniors used food banks when Conservatives were in charge. Their joints ached less too. And when I was housing minister, average rents were $950 and mortgage fees were $1,400.
Justin When you were housing minister you only built 99 homes!
Pierre Not true! I built 200,000 homes in a single year! You’ve been in power for eight years … how many homes have you built? Z to the E to the R to the O.
Justin We’re getting homes built all over Canada: Ajax, Brampton… you name it. We just invested in a project in Moncton. Hamilton too. Did I mention Brampton?
Yves You love to talk about food and housing. But you neglect the most important topic on everybody’s mind: Quebec sovereignty. Why are you scared to admit that Quebec could make it on its own?
Justin If you don’t want to be part of Canada, why are you here?
Pierre The Bank of Canada said this week that your drunken spending is driving up inflation: True or false?
Justin If it’s true, why is inflation falling?
Pierre If it’s false, why is Canada in housing hell?
Justin Oh, and what’s your housing plan?
Mr. speaker OK, time’s up!
This was edited for length and clarity.